Break up - A learning experience in life

Life is full of surprises and you learn new stuff at every level…. Sometimes you have to learn it the hard way, i.e. shedding tears and showing emotions along the way…. Let’s take the basic concept of breakups and analyze how much opportunity is there for anyone to learn and feel in life….This is my way of looking at things… atleast at the end of it… you wud have gained some knowledge, if nothing else…..

Breakups does happen between couples…. I have personally seen more breakups rather than successes in love. Why does this happen…… When does a relationship actually termed as broken .. its when one partner is willing to continue the relationship while the other partner doesn’t want to continue…… when both accept to depart, its not a break up….its more of a MOU (Memorandum of understanding) between the two….. So what happens to the person who wants to continue the relationship after the break up… should he/she be sad…. Well they are entitled to… unless you are in there position you wont know it….right….

First few months - The person who is not willing to accept the break up will always thrive for love and affection and try to live in past memories, thinking about the sweet moments they had when they were partners and just refuse to give the thought of existence of breakup. It will be very hard for you to believe what just happened. You will constantly look for a call or mail from your partner…But there wont be any…. When you try to call, ur partner wont pick up… this will get you even most frustrated and will make you strive for more affection.

This is the stage where one feels the guiltiness….. you will feel…. All the If’s and But’s in life and this thought will start hovering around ur mind…. Avoid being alone during this period….the mental stress and pain in this period will be more and thought of life sucks, well everything sucks and why life… will come to ur mind… Don’t worry you will pass through this….

Level two is the most difficult period of break ups…. Believe me you will do stupid things of which when you think about it latter. You will definitely have a laugh…. Desperate tactics will be adopted by you to try and win back their love and affection…. You will show anger over your friends and except them not to react to it… (Wat will the poor people do….) The fear inside you will come out and make you do crazy things for which you will get nice scolding’s from your partner… You will feel like doing certain things for him/her on special occasions , but anything you do for them at this point will only trigger their frustration on you , this is the most difficult part , a friend will have more right on your partner than you and you are not allowed to express wat you feel , a volcano is built inside your heart waiting to explode …. This will increase your BP and you will have sleepless nights…looking at the roof…. Thinking wat have you done… wasted so much time on some one who doesn’t even give respect to your feeling….. You will pass through this too… but with some amount of time consumed….

Level three is the stage when you start thinking.. Is the relationship really over?…..for some time you wudn’t have spoken to ur partner and would not have realized it too…. You will laugh more… you will be with your friends more and start enjoying, even if the enjoyment lasts for only a while…. Your first enjoyment after the break up occurs here…. You would have thought abt the relationship over and over again… its ups and downs… and by now… you wud have realized where are you and wats the best thing to be done right now… Prioritize your life goal and ambitions and start working towards it….. being sad and thinking about the past is not going to get us anywhere (pls note that I am including myself here) ….. when your mind thinks abt your partner.. just concentrate on other things…. Your friends have to play a big part here understanding your situation…. And I am sure any true friend will help you out.…..

If after all the above three stages are thru and still your mind doesn’t leave thought of your partner… Hats off dude/girl…. You are madly in love with him/her and continue to do so for the rest of your life…. … but your partner is not quite blessed to be with you…… to live a wonderful life with you….. to experience what is to be like to be the most loved person in the whole world….. to laugh all the time with you…. To enjoy life with you…..

Ok, enough of looking at from the angle of person who got “ditched” ( I shud not have used this word…) … lets analyze wats in the mind of the person who actually said that lets end the relationship… there cud be reasons for break ups…. Reasons as silly as you are not smart/cute anymore or as dramatic as my family won’t accept us…. The reasons might be valid or not Valid… but the important thing is that the thought has come to their mind that this is not going to work out….. Sometimes there won’t be any reason or fights also….but just the circumstances are held up in such a way that it’s best to depart……

Love is a Commitment, its not an entertainment; so be true to your love… Don’t lose your love for other commitments…..Please try and keep the relationship alive if you don’t have any difference of opinion with your partner and want to spend the rest of your life with your partner…. be true to urself and do what is best for both, don’t hurt each other in the process…. Its so easy to say I don’t have any feelings for you anymore…..but latter in your life when you are in need of love…. All the wonderful moments you had in the relationship will be doing circles over your head .. and this shud not make you regret the decision you have taken to dissolve the relationship.